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My first Music Appreciation Concert Review

September 17, 2010 7 comments

Earlier tonight, I went to the first of my four concerts for Music Appreciation. Since I don’t have a car, and I don’t know anyone in the class, I ended up getting my entire family, with the exception of my elder brother, to go as well. My younger brother initially wanted to go, however upon the revelation that it was Opera music, he was immediately put off as if I’d asked him to attend a gymnastic event populated by communists-lepers or something equally off-putting and politically insane. Finally, after much un-needed drama over who was going and who was staying, we left at quarter to seven, confident we would not be late.

We were late. We arrived at Spivey Hall just a few minutes after the performance started, so we ended up sitting in the lobby area until the first set of songs were over so we could enter, undisturbed and the musicians would be none the wiser since they go backstage for about a minute between each set in the program. Quite convenient, actually since it gave me a chance to check my e-mail and take extra notes.

The singer, Jeffery Ray, was a baritone Opera singer in a Bruce Wayne-esque tuxedo and the most mis-leading appearance to voice combination I’d ever seen or heard besides the Chocolate Rain guy. The Pianist, Susan Tusing was a rather unassuming woman in a glittery top that seemed to make every small movement of her arms significant. They were accompanied by a young lad who turned the pages who, upon further review may have been an indentured servant, but a very self-important indentured servant who tired to increase his worth by making rather dramatic movements each time he had to turn a page for Ms. Tusing.

First of all, I’d like to discuss the tone of the music. Either I’m missing something very vital in Opera-appreciation, or there was something just…wrong with the music. It was like it was gray or colorless. It just seemed to exist. The mood was basically the same. I had always thought that I would enjoy Opera since I really like classical instrumental music, but I have to say, I was not impressed. The musical era was basically all over. According to the program, the music was created between the 1600s and the modern, some might even say ‘heroic’ age. According to the program, only one of the composers is still alive, however when surrounded by the names of dead musicians, the program almost seemed…wanting, uncertain about this person’s life and work. Anyway, most of the songs were in German or Russian and made me feel like I was at some sort of evil rally in the 40s. However, the last two sets of songs were in English and a few of them made me feel like the former singer of the Smiths, Morrissey should be singing them. The experience was not helped by the fact that the combination of my poor eye sight, far back seat, and odd facial expressions made the singer look almost exactly like Bob Saget.

At the end of each set, Mr. Ray and Ms. Tusing would stand, bow, bask greedily in their applause and exit the stage only to come out again after a moment, probably for Mr. Ray to inhale large amounts of pure oxygen to keep from passing out. They would then come back to the stage to more applause and play a few more songs before repeating the process and undoubtedly upping the amount of oxygen each time.

One song in particular “And Her Mother Came Too!” originally composed by Ivor Novello did make me question not only my own sanity, but the sanity of the singer, the pianist, and the composer as a whole. Almost as if we were all drawn together in an infinite time loop of Lovecraftian madness while the audience clapped politely, no doubt sensing the malice in his voice. But I digress. The song was about how the singer couldn’t get any time alone with his sweetie, since her family members, most prominently her mother would always show up and ruin the moment. I sort of feel like the singer specifically chose this song because he thinks of his real-life mother-in-law as some sort of otherworldly nether-beast from the dark corners of the universe. The entire song was sung with a knowing smile that seemed to be masking a venomous dark underbelly of his mind.

The next few songs were much more cheerful and one of them, “The Man of La Mancha” sounded straight out of a Spaghetti Western which was appropriate because Mr. Ray would probably like to be a gunslinger when his mother-in-law is around. After the last song, “The Impossible Dream”, the two did their usual ritual, however, this was followed by a hand-holding bow and I thought that it was finally over, that I could get home and start writing my subtly scathing review. Alas, they came out again for an encore. I don’t remember the name, but “The Impossible Dream” was much better as a Swan Song than the encore.

Overall, I didn’t really enjoy the concert and the constant feeling of hollowness caused by the music, combined with the disbelief in my mind that such a deep voice could come from someone that looked like Bob Saget, was entirely frustrating and made me hate the balding man in front of me for not finding fault with it. However, unlike my rage, the man did not exist, so I was left alone with the feelings of a madman, constantly worrying that a recording device would break and Mr. Ray would be left with his own real person voice that probably sounded, based on his Bob Sagat-like appearance, more like Kermit the Frog than Tay Zonday. As mentioned above, I do enjoy classical music as long as it is instrumental, but maybe it was the fact that this was just piano and Opera singing instead of an entire orchestra. For my next concert review I shall have to investigate this further.

WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN

Heroes Season 3 Discrepancies, Dawg

September 13, 2010 2 comments

So, the past week or so, I’ve been watching the second and third seasons of Heroes, everyone’s favorite show about people with superpowers (for one season). Anyway, as much as people have said how bad the second season and such was, I just don’t see it. The only thing I’ve never liked about the show is Hayden Panettiere and Ali Larter. Both play the weakest characters and don’t deserve the spotlight their characters usually get in the show.

"Hi, I ruin good shows and the public's image of sexy! Tee hee!"

It also doesn’t help that there’s several lines in the script alluding to how ‘hot’ Claire is. Fuck that. It’s like how romantic comedies keep trying to force the idea on us that Drew Barrymore deserves to be a leading lady or that Julia Roberts is talented.

Anyway, as much as I loathe Claire, there’s other things I want to talk about, hilariously enough, some of them are about how much Claire sucks. And she does.

1. Fucking Claire- Remember how in the beginning of the third season, Sylar finally gets Claire’s powers? And then she can’t feel pain anymore? Then remember how literally everything that a normal person would find painful happened to her, she would still wince and act like she was in pain? Fuck Claire, man. She sucks so much. A friend of mine suggested that it could just be that she’s instinctively wincing since a person would be used to it, but fuck that, she’s not that good of an actress. When she’s on the plane with Elle, going to Pine Hearst, she grabs Elle’s hand to conduct her electricity because otherwise the plane would crash and she would be fine. Anyway, when she grabs her hand to channel lightning that she can’t even see, she basically freaks out. Fuck you, Claire.

2. That guy in the Comic Book store- This is from volume 4, where Claire, being the self-righteous little bitch that she is, tries to save this guy who works at the comic book store that happens to be like, 20 feet from her house. Anyway, when she reveals her ability (not before him mentioning that she’s hot, fucking liar), he reveals that he never told anyone about his power and whatever. Fucking BULL SHIT. Someone that works in a fucking comic book store would be out, prowling the streets fighting crime or trying to get the President to hire them to fight terrorists if they found out they had powers. Fuck you.

This man is a liar.

3. Rebel- Goddammit, Micah did not need to be in season 2 let alone season 3. Not only were all of his scenes incredibly awkward because of the ol’ puberty, but he was like 9. There’s no way that he was completely over his mother’s death within 2 or so months so he could help other people with powers. I fucking hate him. Which brings up my next point.

4. Goddamn Ali Larter- Her damnation of Claire Redfield aside, Ali Larter was the worst character in season 1 (just before Claire got all self-righteous and bitchy) and when she finally gets killed off in season 2, they fucking bring her back as her own character’s sister. Why do you do these things, Tim Kring? Do you really wonder why the show got canceled just as it was getting good and Sylar was finally an official Hero? Fuck!

I'm guessing that when she was handed Resident Evil 2 and Code Veronica for reference material for Resident Evil: Apocalypse, she just said, "Nah, I'll wing it! How bad can it be?" Answer: Fucking awful.

5. The entire fucking plot line- As much as I liked the Villains storyline since Sylar sort of took center stage and almost became a good guy, the story made no fucking sense. Peter kept telling his dad and his brother about how giving people powers would basically cause the end of the world or whatever, so what’s their response? No, it’s okay, see, we’re gonna give everyone powers and that’s gonna prevent your future from happening! It’s fool-proof! It fucking isn’t.

Then in Fugitives, Nathan decides that everyone with powers needs to be rounded up and put in concentration camps so they can find a cure to take away people’s kick-ass abilities. I’m not even gonna talk about how Nathan himself has powers since it’s irrelevant, but what the fuck is wrong with that big-headed cocksucker? Granted, the people that it showed them pick up could be construed as dangerous, you know, if every single one of them wasn’t a good guy. But we’ve been shown people that can breath underwater, and hear really well, and be able to tell when someone’s lying. Like, what the fuck could they do that’s a threat to national security? And Hiro didn’t even have powers for fuck’s sake! And then what does he do when they’re trying to capture Sylar, probably the most dangerous superhuman on the planet? Fucking normal soldiers. They attack Sylar at least twice, and both times he kills the shit out of them. Fuck.

Don't let the adorable kitty fool you. Sylar is the one person in the entire goddamn series that remains entirely awesome throughout the whole show.

And before I get comments telling me how bitchy I’m being, I know I am, but I’m the one with the blog and you chose to come here and read it.

People that are in Every Classroom ever

September 9, 2010 2 comments

Once again, my Music Appreciation class has driven me to make fun of it. The class isn’t bad, don’t get me wrong. It’s just some of the people in it, and in my other classes. I would like, if I may, to talk about some of the people that you will find in every classroom, office, line at the airport, or party. These assholes who unwittingly make themselves the bane of your fucking existence.

1. The Self-Giggler: The Self-Giggler sucks. They have good intentions and they’re usually a nice person, but they spend most of their time making unfunny comments and then giggling in a very loud, mannish way. I say mannish, because the Self-Giggler is almost always a woman. See, when you don’t have a typical class clown, a power vacuum is created, allowing people who would normally shut the fuck up during class, but see this as the opportunity to try out their failed stand-up dream act. The Self-Giggler is never a funny person. Generally, the way they work, is that when the teacher says something, such as asking a question or whatever, the Self-Giggler takes it upon themselves to answer the question and then giggle uncontrollably. Fuck you.

Yeah, you're totally tough.

2. The Fact-Checker: There are two types of Fact-Checkers. The annoying one, and the awesome one. The awesome one is the person who calls the teacher on their shit. For instance, my suddenly racist Psychology professor made mention about how Tiger Woods was, not only a white person in spirit, but also a Christian because he’s black. This girl in the front row corrected him, saying that Tiger Woods was a Buddhist. The Professor then said that he may say that he’s a Buddhist, but he was raised Christian. I then took it upon myself to Wikipedia the shit out of that only to find out that not only is Tiger Woods a Buddhist, but he was raised Buddhist. Then the professor made heavy use of the words ‘brotha’ and ‘bling’. It was rather disconcerting.

Then there’s the annoying Fact-Checker. This is the person, usually someone who’s heavily into the military. Nothing against the military, that’s just the way it is. Anyway, this person doesn’t call the teacher on their shit, they’re too respectful for that. Instead, they confirm things the teacher said, or answer questions in exhaustive detail and just won’t shut the fuck up.

"A PEANUT IS ACTUALLY A LEGUME. DEATH TO HUMANS."

3. The Underling: This treacherous little toe-rag is the henchman of whoever holds the most power in the class. Generally the self-appointed class clown (who is usually an asshole and gets all his humor from Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia) ends up with the Underling. The Underling has no personality. They define themselves entirely by the people around them. They never instigate laughter, they only copy it. They generally suck ass.

4. The Diva: The Diva is the person who is probably obsessed with Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers and think that they’re the next big sensation. They try to start fashion trends, have whatever the newest phone is, and namedrop the shit out of celebrities that they’ve never met. There was a dude (that’s right, a guy Diva) in my Art Class (who also was caught jacking off in class in like, 10th grade) who was voted by my buddy for the previously un-heard of senior superlative “Most Likely to be a Sassy Black Woman”.

So rad.

Oh, wait, holy shit, this is Super Star Fantasy Blog’s 100th post!! Congratulations Me!

Fuck yeah.

Zombie Webcomic Coming Soon

September 6, 2010 2 comments

Hello, loyal readers of the Super Star Fantasy Blog! I’m just writing to let you know that I’ll be starting a new blog within the next two weeks (while still updating this one) which will be a zombie webcomic that I’ve been writing and drawing for the past few days. Since I haven’t posted in a few days, I figured that I would tell you a little about the history of the comic and how it came to be a webcomic.

BLARG!

I first decided to do the comic about a year and a half ago at the end of my senior year of high school. It was gonna be a black and white comic based on the adventures of my friends and I in the zombie apocalypse. I had no plans for it other than to entertain my friends. Over the course of a bunch of months, I slowly drew out the first issue, all 22 pain-staking pages of it. I drew that issue without a plan for the story, figuring that once I had the first issue done, I would then write the second issue, and then draw and ink it to see which way worked better. In the end, writing beforehand always works.

After a long time of not even thinking about it, I found the pages one day and realized that the art was pretty terrible. So, I decided that, using the crappy pages as a template, I would finally write out a script for the first issue and then draw it like I probably should have done in the first place. This happened at the beginning of the summer, so that’s kind of a testament as to how lazy I am when it comes to drawing comics. After about 11 pages or so of decent art, and ten pages of inking, I kinda stopped for a while. In fact, as I write this, the pages in question are on the bed above me, the 11th page still half-finished. Anyway, I’ve now decided to start the story completely over as a day-by-day webcomic with a different start. Though, I’ll probably use all of the ideas I came up with a year ago which were pretty fucking sweet.

GLURGH!

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying here is that you should check out my webcomic when I start posting it and I hope you like it.

Diary of the Dead Discussion

September 2, 2010 8 comments

So, I just finished watching Diary of the Dead for the second time (well, everything after the first half hour where nothing really happens), and I was struck with a thought. Now, at the end of the movie, the last three survivors (two college students and their drunken British Professor) lock themselves in a panic room and the main woman shows a clip of two hunters using zombies that are tied to trees as targets. And she’s all, ‘Who’s the real monsters? Are we worth saving?’ (Para-phrasing). Now, as much as I love George Romero’s zombie movies (check out Survival of the Dead because it’s pretty awesome and bad), this struck me as really stupid.

Overall, the movie was pretty meh.

Keep in mind that this group has been traveling for a while, filming everything they did including the number of people in their group that were killed by zombies, the main girl’s family became zombies, and all this other crap they had to go through. Then, she has the balls to question who the real monsters were just because a couple good ol’ boys were getting their kicks by shooting UNDEAD MURDERING CANNIBALS? What is wrong with her? And it’s not like they were pulling their arms off, or setting them on fire or whatever. They were just shooting them.

Maybe if it was a movie about like, terrorism or Communists or whatever where we see the army using torture, then we could ask who the real monster is, but we’re talking about dead people that will bite you in the face and turn you into one of them. There is nothing wrong with enjoying killing zombies. That’s why games like Dead Rising and Left 4 Dead exist, because there is literally no guilt in killing a zombie. It’s not like a cure or whatever would help them. They’re already dead. Kill as many as you want in whatever way you want. The less of them there are, the safer humans are.

"FUCK! YOU!"

I can tell you that in a zombie apocalypse, after the initial shock wore off and everyone that survived was used to traveling and living off of canned food and stuff, the only thing you would have for fun would be books, other people, and figuring out the most entertaining ways to kill zombies. Like, what else would you do all day when there’s probably no electricity?

Anyone else care to comment on the morality or whatever of zombie murder (which isn’t really murder since they’re already dead).

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