People that are in Every Classroom ever

Once again, my Music Appreciation class has driven me to make fun of it. The class isn’t bad, don’t get me wrong. It’s just some of the people in it, and in my other classes. I would like, if I may, to talk about some of the people that you will find in every classroom, office, line at the airport, or party. These assholes who unwittingly make themselves the bane of your fucking existence.

1. The Self-Giggler: The Self-Giggler sucks. They have good intentions and they’re usually a nice person, but they spend most of their time making unfunny comments and then giggling in a very loud, mannish way. I say mannish, because the Self-Giggler is almost always a woman. See, when you don’t have a typical class clown, a power vacuum is created, allowing people who would normally shut the fuck up during class, but see this as the opportunity to try out their failed stand-up dream act. The Self-Giggler is never a funny person. Generally, the way they work, is that when the teacher says something, such as asking a question or whatever, the Self-Giggler takes it upon themselves to answer the question and then giggle uncontrollably. Fuck you.

Yeah, you're totally tough.

2. The Fact-Checker: There are two types of Fact-Checkers. The annoying one, and the awesome one. The awesome one is the person who calls the teacher on their shit. For instance, my suddenly racist Psychology professor made mention about how Tiger Woods was, not only a white person in spirit, but also a Christian because he’s black. This girl in the front row corrected him, saying that Tiger Woods was a Buddhist. The Professor then said that he may say that he’s a Buddhist, but he was raised Christian. I then took it upon myself to Wikipedia the shit out of that only to find out that not only is Tiger Woods a Buddhist, but he was raised Buddhist. Then the professor made heavy use of the words ‘brotha’ and ‘bling’. It was rather disconcerting.

Then there’s the annoying Fact-Checker. This is the person, usually someone who’s heavily into the military. Nothing against the military, that’s just the way it is. Anyway, this person doesn’t call the teacher on their shit, they’re too respectful for that. Instead, they confirm things the teacher said, or answer questions in exhaustive detail and just won’t shut the fuck up.

"A PEANUT IS ACTUALLY A LEGUME. DEATH TO HUMANS."

3. The Underling: This treacherous little toe-rag is the henchman of whoever holds the most power in the class. Generally the self-appointed class clown (who is usually an asshole and gets all his humor from Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia) ends up with the Underling. The Underling has no personality. They define themselves entirely by the people around them. They never instigate laughter, they only copy it. They generally suck ass.

4. The Diva: The Diva is the person who is probably obsessed with Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers and think that they’re the next big sensation. They try to start fashion trends, have whatever the newest phone is, and namedrop the shit out of celebrities that they’ve never met. There was a dude (that’s right, a guy Diva) in my Art Class (who also was caught jacking off in class in like, 10th grade) who was voted by my buddy for the previously un-heard of senior superlative “Most Likely to be a Sassy Black Woman”.

So rad.

Oh, wait, holy shit, this is Super Star Fantasy Blog’s 100th post!! Congratulations Me!

Fuck yeah.